…and you will be around longer to take care of the ones you love. Lets talk about some healthy goals for you today.

1. Your Goal: Commit to Self Care

  • Know how your people-pleasing habit takes time away from your own self-care.
  • Think about engaging in self-care as a form of investing in yourself. You will be around longer to take care of the ones you love.
  • Verbalize your commitment to your own self-care needs.

 

Self-Care Maintenance Tips

Just like a car, our bodies and mind need to be:

Fueled properly

Tuned up regularly

Not driven while on empty

2.Your Goal: Plan Your Yeses

  • Make a Life Passions Inventory by creating a chart with four columns with the headings “Relationships,”

“Work,” “Spiritual,” and “Self-Care” (see the example below). Then fill in the columns by writing down life goals you are passionate about and would spend time pursuing if you could. This will help you see more clearly if any of your life passions have eluded you.

  • Use the inventory you create to rethink how you currently spend your time.
  • Identify and evaluate ways to fit in more self-care activities.
  • Bring in your completed inventory to discuss at your follow-up visit.

 

Relationships

 Get married or renew your vows

Get a pet

Connect with relatives

Take a vacation with friends

 

Work

 Ask for a promotion

Attend professional development seminars

Spend less hours at work

Get a new assistant

 

Spirituality

Read inspiring books

Attend services on the weekend

 Attend religious retreat

Volunteer at church

 

Self-Care

Learn to play tennis

Take evening dance classes

Join a walking group

Take a healthy cooking class

 


3.Your Goal: Say “No” Like a Pro

Give yourself permission to be assertive in your day-to-day decision making:

Know that saying “no” is an important part of your healthy lifestyle program.

Think and talk about typical situations when you have trouble saying “no.”

Use role-playing to practice saying “no” in difficult situations to:

Family members

Work colleagues

Members of your spiritual community

When you are asked for a favor, use responses that buy you more thinking time before you commit.

What to Say to Buy Yourself More Thinking Time

“I need to check my calendar first.”

“Let me think about it.”

“I will need to get back to you about this.”

4.Your Goal: Assign Tasks to Others

Know that your family and friends are not mind readers. You may need to explain to them that you take on too much and have trouble saying no.

Teach people in your life that you have needs too, and that they have a responsibility to help you to fulfill those needs.

Think about ways you can lighten your load at home and work to make more time for yourself.

Be specific when asking for help and delegating tasks.

Examples of Specific Ways to Ask for Help

“Can you pick the kids up from soccer practice so I can get to my exercise class?”

“I’d like you to make your own lunches from now on. This way, I can use that evening time to make my lunch and plan tomorrow’s dinner.”

 

 

Adapted from Dr. Kushner’s Personality Type Diet. Copyright 2009 Robert Kushner, MD.